Mother-to-be Musings T-Shirts

"I dunno, but I get the feeling it could be a girl..."

Pool attached to child's bed.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

Men explained.

'A Caesarian? - But I want my son to be a natural-born citizen!'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"So! When's the big day?"

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

"The test results show that your baby is healthy, and that she already wants the new iPhone."

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

"Beats me how pregnancy has survived into the modern era. There's no reception desk, product guarantee nor customer service department!"

Maternity Hospital

"Mum, we had sex-education at school today: is that really what happened to Daddy?!"

Olga's Biological Clocks.

Biological Alarm Clock.

'You were a ten month baby. The postman brought you.'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"Nine months in here?? I trust I can get out in seven months with good behaviour!"