Mortgage Payoff Gifts

Demanding house.

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

U of Debt

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

I have a dream.

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

Gone for Broke College

"Your grandfather just paid off his student loan."

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

'Maybe framed copies of your mortgage, auto loan, and tuition loans are too much of a motivator. Maybe you need a financial planner.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

Man's Mortgage is Covered By Endowment Policy.

"Now I know many of you still have questions about reverse mortgages...."

'The mortgage I can handle, but I also have an adjustable-rate wife.'

'But on the bright side, I never worry about the housing booms and bubbles.'

"We were just making a little ceremony of burning the mortgage."

Banker: The Mortgage the Merrier.

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

'That might well have made you feel better, Mr. Jones, but we still have to negotiate a figure. . .'

I'm afraid your loan will be stuck in underwriting until you've each had a full panic attack.'

"The bank has completed the loan application review phase. We're now in the loan denial phase."

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'