Mortgage Payoff Gifts

Demanding house.

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

U of Debt

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

First National Bank. Keep life exciting --- Ask about our variable rate, interest-only mortgages.

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

I have a dream.

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

Don't be too mad baby... I got a great mortgage deal!

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

What do you mean, you've done more for me than my mother did? We've carried you for 10 months!

"Your grandfather just paid off his student loan."

Gone for Broke College

'Maybe framed copies of your mortgage, auto loan, and tuition loans are too much of a motivator. Maybe you need a financial planner.'

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

Man's Mortgage is Covered By Endowment Policy.

"Now I know many of you still have questions about reverse mortgages...."

"We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate."

"We were just making a little ceremony of burning the mortgage."

'That might well have made you feel better, Mr. Jones, but we still have to negotiate a figure. . .'

I rhyme today for I feel great cheer. Listen up, people. I am truly moved. The greatest three words a man can hear. You are pre-approved! Hail the bard of the home-loan sonnet.

Frank and Ernest's updated fables. Straw, wood, brick what does it matter? Our houses are all under water anyway.

Banker: The Mortgage the Merrier.

'But on the bright side, I never worry about the housing booms and bubbles.'

'The mortgage I can handle, but I also have an adjustable-rate wife.'

'We made the last payment and we were burning the mortgage to celebrate.'

I'm afraid your loan will be stuck in underwriting until you've each had a full panic attack.'