Morning After Philosopher T-Shirts

Sally woke up with a headache. This house didn't look familiar. There was a rug burn on her forehead. Three good reasons to quit drinking.

"The overthinker"

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Using Frank Drake's famous equation, Betty calculates the probability of finding intelligent life on a Saturday night.

"Is this a bad time for our feedback meeting?"

"I believe in the carrot-and-stick approach, Dempsey."

"Honey, wake up. I had that dream again where I wake up and you get angry at me for waking you up."

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

Everything opens up as a new day begins.

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

Tomorrow's another day, he thought, unless I get lucky and sleep right through it.

Aw, @#$%, just go to business school. EMU. The Practical Muse.

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

"Doesn't it make sense to move Casual Friday to Monday?"

Thoughts of Stephen Harper...

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

That's a street lamp, Steve.

Moral Fruit and Fiber Cereal

"I recommend the businessman's lunch, sir, mammon notwithstanding."

"You could always make me laugh but you didn't."

'I waste Sunday worrying about Monday, so I compensate by making Friday my Saturday.'

"See, Timmy? No boogeymen under your bed — they're all out there."

"So this sense of failure stems from the fact that you're not catching any worms despite getting up early?"

'We only get an hour for lunch, so your best bet is to brown-bag it.'

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

"None of this news seems 'fit to print' to me!"

"At lunchtime Dr. Jones just loves taking union talk with his fellow brothers."

"Yes, Jamie -- you have an insight?"

'Sometimes I think you don't listen to a word I say!'

"Ask not for whom the refrigerator hums..."

"No, son - the love of Monday is not the root of all evil."