Monthly Expenses Pillows

'I suddenly feel car sick. The annual insurance bill has just arrived.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

Soup of the month.

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

Employee of the Month

Employee of the month and the prankster of the month.

Why you must go to work

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

'Apparently, there's some sort of language barrier for me when money talks.'

"I'm not sure if that bill is correct or not, sir. We just throw a bunch of charges on there to see which ones stick."

"Is it just me, or did this sales meeting suddenly take a dark turn?"

"In order to balance the budget we will need to make sacrifices, and you are mine"

'I finally understood 'negative numbers' when the teacher said they're just like the US budget deficit.'

"I see you didn't purchase ANY leg room"

Hunter Gatherer of the Month.

"You were the one who said we couldn't afford a new vacuum, so stop moaning and suck harder!"

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

'I got this feeling I know who's gonna be the employee of the month.'

No Frills Psychiatrist.

You tell him it's unnecessary. King of the Month. George.

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce parenting fees.'

Wallpapering.

Excess Baggage: Sometimes, your plane ticket is the least expensive part of the trip.

"We're working on it - but first we have to know what to call it!"

Stadium usher of the month.

"Yes, we have three children. Their names are time guzzler, career killer, and cost factor."

"And another amazing feature of this model, it'll beep on the 27th of each month to tell you your payment's due"

Back pain - Back to school.

Reserved for Employee of the Month. You're a temp worker --- That's not the same thing as "employee of the month"!

"I'm pleased to inform you that you have won our employee of the month award, Miss North. What evening will you be free this week?"

'Hunting and gathering together saved our marriage, but the cost of daycare is killing us!'

If Medicare-for-All Were a War, No One Would Ask: How Do We Pay for It?

'Do you have a house for under £70 a week? Yes and I intend to continue living there.'