Monthly Cycle Pillows

'I have stomach cramps.' - 'Oh.' - 'It feels like a cat raking its claws down the inside of my stomach.' - 'Oh.' - 'Raking in a good way or a bad way?' -

Soup of the month.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

At a secluded, candle-lit dinner, love rears its ugly head.

Employee of the Month

The unknown war poet.

Employee of the month and the prankster of the month.

"Now, now, now, it can't be THAT bad."

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

'As expected, your shares of de ja vu are rebounding, again.'

Boom and Bust

'Son, it's time we told you. There are some people in this world who don't LIKE brussels sprouts...'

"Armageddon, armageddon, armageddon, then sports and weather."

"I hate a sarcastic cup of coffee."

'Again?'

'I hate it when she assigns an essay at the end of the month, after I've reached my data limit.'

'Broke again?' - 'Yes, I wasted my last few pounds on the rent.'

"Same time next month?"

"I won't really have time to miss you: I'll just be waking up when you come back from your migration..."

"Winter is a-comin'."

"There's an Officer Ripley inside who sure could use a hug."

'Do we have to go through this every month Stan? We both know I'm your only employee.'

BEWARE woman with PMS

'You want to borrow a tampon?!'

Man plans his 2011 routine