Money Mavens Pillows

"You can afford to retire at 65, but you'll need to die at 70."

"If you're such an expert, how come you still have to work?"

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

Dreaming of Dollars.

'And ask them if they know of a cheap hotel near Wall Street!'

Capitalism

Of course you are financially protected!

'I know you part own the bank but if you don't let me have a bonus and give me your money no loan!'

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

Well, THAT doesn't sound good...

Great Chinese Dynasties

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

Wow thanks, a cheque for $500M made out to 'small business'.

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'

'What do you mean your telling me, 'stash it under the bed' is your best advice in the current financial climate?'