Money Mavens Pillows

"You can afford to retire at 65, but you'll need to die at 70."

"If you're such an expert, how come you still have to work?"

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

Dreaming of Dollars.

'And ask them if they know of a cheap hotel near Wall Street!'

Capitalism

Of course you are financially protected!

'I know you part own the bank but if you don't let me have a bonus and give me your money no loan!'

'My micro is so good it's beginning to grow into the macro.'

Well, THAT doesn't sound good...

Great Chinese Dynasties

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"I'm teaching him to rollover my 401 (k)."

"I'm as progressive as they come, except for my money. No one touches my money."

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

'The Fed decided today not to raise or lower interest rates, but instead just moved them sideways a little.'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Better brace yourself. It looks as though your broker's now equipping your monthly statement with crumple zones.'

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

Wow thanks, a cheque for $500M made out to 'small business'.

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

'What do you mean your telling me, 'stash it under the bed' is your best advice in the current financial climate?'