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Mums coffee morning

Cry babies.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"I'm not his mom anymore—now I'm his life coach."

"I'm sorry, but we're not an online retailer. We can't guarantee delivery in 2 days."

''D' is for 'Despair'; 'E' is for 'Exhaustion'.'

Add your kids' ages together...

Mums at play group.

'Alert the troops I'm going back to work.'

"We're hoping you can join us for a little drink at the water hole at dusk."

"I told you I don't make chicken soup! I'm a muse, not a mother!"

'Houdini's mother had an odd and difficult pregnancy.' 'Oh no. He's gone again!'

"You're pregnant? Are you sure it's yours?"

'. . . And don't forget, tomorrow is bring-a-friend day.'

"Same time next month?"

Zika Protection

'Congradulations, daddy! Daddy! Daddy!'

"Now that I have a child, I understand the love you have for your dog."

"Hi. My name is Chris and I'm a 'rubbing alcoholic.'"

"I'm sorry I embarrassed you at work, Mom. But you should know by now - I'm not the kind of person to put on a speakerphone."

'Yes, I do admire your motorcycle. However, your 'I love my mommy' t-shirt is a little weird.'

'...I didn't think you'd get on the bus to tell me.'

Child walks into home - Sign reads 'Your mother is in the workplace.'