Modern Socialites T-Shirts

'You may hang up if you want. I just don't want to eat alone in public without a cell phone in my hand.'

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"So, what do you do for play?"

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

A day at the races

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

'You're talking three million, ballpark

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Your party just totally blew us away."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'

'I like the way you don't say I've had enough.'

"Personally, I think one great improvement to these tea dances would be some tables..."

"Our party covers the whole L.G.B.T. and non-L.G.B.T. world."