Modern Socialites T-Shirts

'You may hang up if you want. I just don't want to eat alone in public without a cell phone in my hand.'

"So, what do you do for play?"

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

Children's Party

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

A day at the races

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

"Loved our evening, Lou. Thanks for being rich."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'You're talking three million, ballpark

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

'I like the way you don't say I've had enough.'

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'

Large Whist Party in Small Room

Sorry, formal only.