Modern Melancholic T-Shirts

Godot finally turns up

"I gotta be me!"

"Mr. Right!"

Pastorius wonders why.

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

Technology and Love

Spooning

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"I'd love to spend more time with you, Jason, but you're not on my fall schedule."

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."

Lord Byron

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

Neil Young

The Bar & Grill of Ordinary Men: Quiet Desperation 11 am - closing (Karaoke on Saturday)

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

'In an inexplicable attack of nerves, Elliot becomes the first person ever to screw up John Cage's 4'33'.

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

'I hate my life.

'Dreams of how it might have been.'

'I can't believe she married the prince after only one date.'

"Half-full. Those were the days."

'One question, Vicar. Is it bad luck to invite any of the other people we're sleeping with?'

'We don't text anymore.'

"I like what you've done with your apartment and your clothes."

Got suspicious after he asked to see a recent picture and she sent over an oil painting.

A depressed artist imagines a drawing, but it turns black.