Modern Lighting Lover T-Shirts

"It's the new LED model."

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

Art Masters as Clowns pt. 2

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Tedious Romantic.

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I thought I'd add a punch line."

"Typical venue, just providing male washroom facilities!"

Jackson Pollock as a child

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"He's left out the staples"

Biker At Museum

'This is the painting he was about to start when he shot himself.'

Cubism Model

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

What do you think? I'm calling it Snow.

Smithsonian

Kapoor & Piss-poor (Anish Kapoor sculpture beside Marcel Deschamps urinal)

"I like his style. He makes it look like an accident."

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"But is it art?"