Modern Job Enthusiasts Mugs

"I want to be a spam master when I grow up. You'll find a sample of my work on your computer."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"We've developed a five year plan that includes ample provisions for another five year plan if this one doesn't work."

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

Mr Yomp quickly got the hang of his new laptop.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

Resume Dumpers

'Are you picky about preferring something with a livable wage?'

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

Now hiring.

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

'I received matching offers.'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate. I'm flexible on location - I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume. I don't think you understand what that mwans. The octopus got the job because he's a great multitasker!

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

"I know you're the quote, 'company's envelope orderer', but change the acronym."

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'

"Maybe we apply as a group....crowdsourcing employment."

'I've tried hunting, and I've tried gathering, but what I really want is a desk job.'