Modern-day Santa Believer T-Shirts

"Here's my Christmas list. . . I included the Ebay URL's."

Santa Claus's Mail

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

High security Santa's grotto

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

Santa CGI Effect

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'How do you think he stays so merry through the holidays?!'

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"I want a pony!"

'Well, I'll try, but cheese seems to be the 'must have gift' this year.'

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

'And that,and that,and that...'

Pole dancers

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

The Reindeer Strike

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"For the last time… do not feed bubble gum to the reindeer!"

"I can't tel you what an honor it is to be the keynote speaker at the Supply Chain management Seminar."

"I'm like most people, I guess––a mixture of good and bad."

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

SANTA'S ATTORNEY

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

He Sees You When You're Sleeping