Modern Consumerism Skeptic T-Shirts

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Made in China

"I shop, therefore I am."

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"Shopping! Now that's what I call quality time!"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'And I want that end table for $40...' When bargain hunters crack.

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"That shirt is so last year."

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

Happiness is spending late summer afternoon on a buying binge at the iPhone app store.

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

Customer Convention

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"Do you have pants in XL?"

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'Do we want to apply for a credit card that plays the song 'Money Makes The World Go Around' every time it is swiped?'

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

'The meaning of life is to get a nice sneaker contract.'

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."