Mobile Punster T-Shirts

...the onion rings

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"All we have left is standing room only."

Water is discovered on the moon....

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

Dogs life

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

Note Book

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

"I'm not that kind of pro-Bono lawyer."

They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.

Sure, Jupiter's the biggest, but I hear he uses Asteroids to build up his bulk!

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

Tiny man plays big cello, huge man plays tiny violin.

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

How the planets of the solar system are known to their friends

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

I have a higher escape velocity than you! It has nothing to do with being clingy!