Midlife Career Change T-Shirts

"I see you've spent the last twenty years driving a cab."

'You're 40+, your looks are gone and you're invisible to men. How would you like a career as a contract killer for the CIA?'

"Oh, I've been a rich man, a poor man, a beggar man, a thief, a doctor, a lawyer and now I'd like to try my hand at heading a native-American tribal organization."

'Remember Buck, even geniuses have midlife career changes.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

Pipe Dream.

Outer Space Outsourcing

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'