Mid-life Motivator T-Shirts

Middle age jogging

"Your contents have shifted."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

ZZZZZZZ Top

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"I'm here for the hair."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'Take a good look, Junior. When I was your age, I was 'Fun Size,' too.'

'Where Are They Now?'

We micro-grafted all the hairs from the back of your head to the top and now we've completely covered your bald spot.'

"You used to be that ambitious."

The summer of her 39th year, Eleanor could be found most evenings on a hill (known locally as Robert's Hump) doing aerobics of her own devising.

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

'Here's your chance to become a legend.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

Menopause and the City

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Three years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she could deal with her midlife crisis. You should try a radical makeover. When I hit midlife, I dyed my hair, got some tattoos, and dropped 75 pounds. My husband barely recognized me when he returned from overseas. He was not happy with my "new self," so I divorced him rather than change who I'd become. It was the best decision I'd made since I cut my thieving mother out

"Remember back when we were just larva and didn't have a care in the world?"

'Brother, the Lord takes a very dim view of the comb-over.'

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"