Microblogging Maven Prints

*Feels depressed about Twitter*

'Published two hundred times in the past year. I'm impressed.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

In the Guru District

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Apples for sale

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"National security adviser"

"And this is our media room."

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"#Win!"

Drool Marks

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

Direct Marketing...

"Will follow you on social media for food."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

Trade Show Sherpas

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

'Okay, okay, be patient!'