Merger Consultants Mugs

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"Who's got the hammer?"

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

"I'm Jackson, your new micro-manager."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"Gentleman I believe I've found a revolutionary new way for us to more productively waste our lives."

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

Fish and color

'He's ruthless and greedy... so let's make sure he's on our side.'

'Uh - oh... this looks like an unfriendly takeover!'

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'We have what might be a very good idea...'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'Ask yourself, 'What is it I'm not doing?', and then ask yourself, 'What is it I'm doing too much?'.'

Office temperature.

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."