Mentorship Maverick T-Shirts

"Stand back folks. I'm a life coach."

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

Barack Obama's To Do list.

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

'I want ideas so bold, so wildly innovative, so undeniably brilliant that they retain a shred of originality after everyone picks them to pieces.'

Elevator Pitch

"He's not sleeping. He always dims his display while downloading data."

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

'I sometimes wonder if these endless meetings accomplish anything.'

Targets.

"Every now and then, I find myself in a room filled with people who are wrong."

"Since I am chairman, it behooves me to go first. 'What I Did Over My Summer Vacation,' by Wilson Rupert Hewes."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

“I know you’re really busy right now, but when you have a chance I’d love to pick your brain about how you got to where you are today.”

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"At this establishment, you can't have your cake and eat it too!"

"It's not who you know, it's how you use them."

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

Corporate Recruiters, Inc. makes a HUGE mistake hauling up its drift net in full view of a Greenpeace International office.

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

"We must kill this initiative, so let's mainstream it."

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

"Anything goes today: I want this to be a free and open discussion of my entrenched positions."

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

'If I'd had someone to help me when I started, I might have made CEO...actually, I did make CEO, but you know what I mean.'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

'My market doesn't understand me.'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'