Memory Enhancer Mugs

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

'I tied the string around my trunk to remind me to take ginko biloba for my memory.'

An Elephant Never Forgets by Tying a Knot in its Trunk

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

Ego Increasing School

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

Study more to pass more tests.

"I seem to have forgotten what I was saying...please...hold the applause!"

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

Student to other: 'I keep forgetting to return my library books on 'boomerangs' and ... what was the other one? Oh yeah, 'memory improvement'.'

'I never forget a face.'

'That's so I wont forget my wife's birthday.'

'I can't remember the last time I treated a case of amnesia, and I can't even remember if I ever did treat one.'

'I think you need to work on your frontal lobes.'

Advanced Password Hint

"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."

'You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on.'

"He's got a photographic memory."

'I've been treating you for months -- Has your memory shown ANY improvement?', 'Who wants to know?'

"Dear diary, what the heck did you do with my car keys?!"

"Supersize me."

Now...what was I doing

Memory Clinic - Old What's His Name, Director.

Is it true that a goldfish has a memory of just a few seconds? Don't recall. Hey, Ernie, whose turn is it to sleep in the castle? Don't recall. Maybe we should flip a rock for it. Sure. Okay, I'll be the flat side and you be the round side. What are we flipping for? Not sure. I'm exhausted. Let's call it a day. Whose turn is it to sleep in the castle. Don't recall.

"My memory's so bad I can plan my own surprise party."

"My memory's terrible these days"

Memory School.

"Honey, did you see where I placed that book entitled:'How to improve your memory?"

"Jun '87. The peanut incident?"

'There you are, Mr. Van Winkle. That Ginkgo Biloba should improve your memory and keep you from dozing off.'