Memorial Humorist Mugs

'Well, not his very last words, just his last words on twitter.'

'Of course, I used to keep Dad in an urn until the...well, the cleaning incident.'

Inscription on Gravestone - BORN 1947 DELETED 2019

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Apples for sale

Vlad the Impala

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Can Olaf come out to pillage and plunder?"

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Stonehenge Explained

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"You're stealing from the rich and selling it to the poor on Craigslist?"

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."

'Well, if he can't be a Minuteman, he can be a minutedog.'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

After the gun ban, the guys still liked to go out and horse around on weekends.