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Text Culture

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'We'll be outsourcing Main Street.'

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

"Any further comments? Alright then, we're adjourned."

'It's been a tough quarter, so in lieu of bonuses, you'll all be receiving a DVD of out-takes from our meetings.'

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

"Does our improvement really need to be so continuous?"

"We're not doing virtual meetings anymore, Stu."

The Web is mightier than the sword.

Now, gentlemen, doesn't the smaller table make these board meetings more cozy?'

'If youth is wasted on youth, I'd just as well spend my time social networking.'

"Are you kids going to behave, or do I have to put my foot down?!"

"Dislocating your jaw yawning during my lecture on work related injuries is NOT a work related injury!"

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'You should see a doctor. Maybe you have that West Nile thing.'

"And then I met some computer people who could make it look as if I were talking."

'I see your site doesn't have a 'like' button. The good news is it doesn't need one.'

The Evolution of Pop Culture Scapegoats

'Now, 'ol doc, he'd have wrapped 'er the other way.'

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

"Poison ivy? No, I said you have a poison IV. Honestly, I have no idea why we keep that stuff right next to the medicine."

"I hope they're not fake commandments!"

'He was a lifelong knee-jerk liberal until he got knee replacement surgery.'

'She's a little upset. Apparently, when the cosmetic surgeon asked her what kind of chin she'd like, she thought he said gin and asked for a double.'

'Norton, couldn't you have taken care of that before the meeting?'

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

The Potato Salad Society

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

'Thank heaven's there are no cameras around. This would surely go viral.'

'There have been some mutterings that the partnership council is just window dressing...'

"I didn't endorse him, but I 'Liked' him on Facebook."

I've spent much less time with other people recently, but my refrigerator and I have never had a closer relationship.