
"Don't tell anyone, but I really like these kitty emojis."
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"Don't tell anyone, but I really like these kitty emojis."
"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."
Isn't technology wonderful, Lance? Uh … We live in a time when a wolverine can send a poop emoji to a telephone I carry in my pocket. Let me think about it.
"I have this really bad itch on my neck." "What?" "I said... I have this really embarrassing itch on my nether... Speak up, I can’t hear you." "I said, I have this really embarrassing itch on my nether regions, and wondered if you’ve ever had that too." "I’d keep it down if I were you." "Thanks a lot. Thirteen people have already tweeted it."
"It's a battle of wills - I'm refusing to do anything for his 'funny cat videos' web page."
"You have to admire the way he never lets common sense interfere with his judgement."
Social Media Blues
"He really hates all the fake news!!"
Polly txt speak
"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."
Moses separating his Laundry.
Moses on the web
"Bigfoot"
"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"
"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."
"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."
"OMG, LOL!"
"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"
Weird things I do because of the internet
"I didn't say my dog ate my homework. I said Russian bots ate my homework."
I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.
"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."
"Tinnitus?"
"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."
Leonardo Da Vinci paints a selfie
Sistine Selfie
"God, I HATE this planet..!"
"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"
'The worst thing is not having access to your e-mail.'
OMG...WTF?....LOL!!!...SOS...
'Twitter for goldfish.'
"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."
Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!
Pavlov's Cat
'I hate it when I have to talk on my phone.'
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