Meeting The Family T-Shirts

'I asked him if he had any security and he said social security!'

'I've got a good feeling, this one's a 'keeper'.'

"Meet my extended family."

'Must you find fault every time she brings a boyfriend home?'

'...and this is my extended family!'

"At first I was leery of him dating our daughter because he's not one of us. But he says he shares our values and brought us those lovely gifts!"

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Hi-yah!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Oh, Aunt Em, it wasn't a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you ... and you were there. But not that man with the straitjacket."