Meeting Parents Prints

'Mom, Dad, this is Jennifer. We met early one morning and fell in love.'

"Now, remember...don't tell Daddy you designed the software he uses at work... I want him to get to know you first!"

"I want her home by 11:00 and not a single squeeze mark on her!"

I'd like you to meet my parents. They're always complaining that I'm too picky about the men I date.

'Mother, this is Kelso. Kelso is some kind of nut.'

'I think he's getting serious. He's laughing at Daddy's jokes.'

'You can come in, but I'm not calling her until after you pass inspection.'

'I've seen you before and, right now, I'm hoping like crazy that it wasn't on a picture in the post office.'

"I'm not a big fan of our daughter's new love interest! He's too sophisticated to be much of a wild-boar, isn't he?!"

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bond James, Bond."

Grace For Flies

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"They grow up so fast."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Children's Parties

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."