Medical Sitcom Fan Prints

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"Who knows how to take bad news?"

'I've had the headache for 3 days. The shortness of breath just started.'

'That's me they're paging. I've got to go move my car. Be back in 20 minutes.'

"Your husband's laryngitis will probably last another wee but your blood pressure is nothing short of miraculous."

"Prepare an ice bath, stat! That little timer thingy in his back just popped up."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"All my symptoms are old ... "

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

"The patient in 12-C needs comforting."

"My first night in the lab and I was clearly the smallest brain in the place."

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'I thought my appointment was for a TB screening.'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"Well, you may not have the body of an athlete, but you certainly have the foot of one."

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"