Medical Science Buffs Pillows

'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but medical science still has a lot to learn about machismo.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

London GPs could become an endangered species.

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

'Madam, this is not pornography. It is a textbook on obsterics and gynecology...'

'We're playing doctor ??" Billy's the anesthetist.'

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"Fruity nose, hints of wild cherry, soothing on the palate, goes well with cough and cold."

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"Look, until there's a Tinder for pandas, we have to meet the old-fashioned way: being locked in a room together by scientists."

It's college orientation time. The brain cell is attending an elite academic university, and the hormones and endorphins are going to party schools. The muscle cell earned an athletic scholarship. And it looks like the DNA molecule has already picked a major. The DNA has life planned out. It's chemically active down there. The individual atoms are excited, but also seem a bit sad. Of course! Going off to college is an emotional time for them. Old bonds are breaking and new ones are bein

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'I started off as a single cell and now I'm in one.'

'Oh dear. My son's an evolutionary throw forward.'

'We've created a teenager!'

'If you begin to feel unwell, start or stop taking aspirin...'

'What it is is a giant kidney.'

'I've got an amoeba here who wants to go to Officer's Candidate School.'

Hell's Angels

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"!

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

'There's a teddy and a pony... and that one looks like the medulla oblongata!'

Too much Inflammation

'Excuse me, Professor Hippocrates...but when do we learn how to hit out of bunkers?'

'The little twerps have me all discombobulated -- I was supposed to start an ice age 100 years ago!'