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'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

Alexander Fleming

Welsh practice launches formal objection to 'unmanageable' new housing.

'Another day. . . another half dozen medical breakthroughs for us to comprehend. . .'

New Marvel Heroes

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

Cardiology, Neurology and Ophthalmology.

"The good news is, with gene therapy, it's now possible to grow back legs."

He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up.

A doctor calls a body builder to perform a patella tap test on a large patient.

"He's a whiz kid."

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.

'He's got great bedside manner.'

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

Hamster on dialysis machine 'In my day we'd have had him put down.'

'The Nobel prize for medicine was awarded to Dr. Quentin R. Owlsey, who developed an anesthetic that leaves patients capable of writing checks.'

Mozart

'Help Doctor!! My baby swallowed a pencil!'

Don't worry. I'll be right there.

"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."

"I can't find anything wrong with you - it must be the drink." "OK - come back when you're sober."

'It appears to be a side effect of the herbal eye drops you're using.'

"Now, those pills you just took may produce some visual side effects."

The uplifting nurse.

Flying NHS Walk-in Centre