Medical Procedure Discussion Prints

"I was telling you about my kidney stone. Well, that ball resembles it exactly."

Very Difficult Conversations

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

"When I said hair transplant I meant more than one."

"Are you sure that cutting them up will make him better?"

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

Emma is very happy that the doctor will finally remove the growth on Daddy's nose but she's also a little sad to see it go...

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

'How can I help you? We offer - choice, diversity or competition.'

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'I'm going to check with my pastor to see what the Bible says about this operation.'

"I've been living vicariously through a really boring person."

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

"Hey Frank, how was your colonoscopy?" "In and out."

"Next time you want me to swallow a camera, just wrap it in bacon!"

"It's for his shakes."

'Mobile reception OK in there?'

'Nurse Wilhelm will be live-blogging the whole procedure.'

"The stress test was waiting for me for hours."

Is there anyone here from 'customer care'? Could you tell them I'll ring back as soon as I've got my new kidney in!

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

"The doctor's nurse's nurse practitioner will see you now."

A scared man who is about to have surgery performed by a robot.

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'