Medical Mishap Memer Prints

'She's a little upset. Apparently, when the cosmetic surgeon asked her what kind of chin she'd like, she thought he said gin and asked for a double.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Barbeque Casualty.

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'We'll be outsourcing Main Street.'

'We're under a lot of time-pressure here, so we'll need to jump to conclusions.'

'It's been a tough quarter, so in lieu of bonuses, you'll all be receiving a DVD of out-takes from our meetings.'

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'It was here when Harris decided to 'tweak' things a bit...'

"We're not doing virtual meetings anymore, Stu."

The Web is mightier than the sword.

'If youth is wasted on youth, I'd just as well spend my time social networking.'

"Dislocating your jaw yawning during my lecture on work related injuries is NOT a work related injury!"

'Now, 'ol doc, he'd have wrapped 'er the other way.'

"Not dead, nonsense! According to the computer you are dead! . . . Please don't waste anymore of out valuable time and leave the operating room!"

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

OPERATING ROOM, 'Your husband may have a little trouble sleeping for awhile -- we spilled some coffee in him.'

'I can't turn it off.'

"Poison ivy? No, I said you have a poison IV. Honestly, I have no idea why we keep that stuff right next to the medicine."

'How's my Surger? Call 1-600 Lawsuit.'

Sling

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

"I'm certain you're fine, but my attorney would like to see you naked."

'Ok, Ms. Feldman, it says on your chart that you were discharged yesterday.'

'Norton, couldn't you have taken care of that before the meeting?'

Paramedic Mistakes.

Broken legs and broken nose in the hospital.

"Well... the good news is we've dealt with your ingrowing toenail..!"