Medical Cost Watchdog Prints

"I don't want treatment, just an insurance estimate."

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Looking for the cause of high health care costs. . .

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

'Boy! The cost of health care is going up, up, up...'

'What a bargain!'

'And you say your face after you looked at the bill I sent you for your last visit.'

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."

Hospital: Senior Care/Long Term Care/Who Cares

Short Memories

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

"Why couldn't you open that wide during the procedure?"

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

Dr Obama

You take'm through the nose, you pay through the nose.

Marketing Spin

'The hospital lawyer is here, my lawyer is here, representatives from the insurance company, the ethics committee and the government are all here...where's the doctor?'

"Ms. Mims will help you arrance financing."

'Don't pay the doctor...'

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

I'll need the tweezers. It looks like Mr. Fosgitt here is paying through the nose for his health insurance.

'Who are you calling Napoleon?I'm just going to pay you!'

"I'm not a miracle worker. I can't do the surgery for less than four thousand."

"I got a second opinion on the operation—my accountant advises against it."

A customer angry about the cost of gas costing an arm and a leg, handing over his arm and a leg to a greedy gas station owner.

"I hope you don't mind the medical student who's here to observe my billing procedure."