Medical Buff Prints

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

"Your D.N.A. test shows you're predisposed to sue doctors."

'Someone's taken its appendix out.'

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

"Clear!"

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

"Sorry about this, I'm sure my little mirror will turn up eventually."

Fart Sample.

'Try not to remove any of my untapped potential.'

"We need to update your entire operating system."

"Now where was I?"

"Forget vampires! I'm worried about EBOLA!"

"I'm from Special Ops."

Ambulance delays force GPs to take patients to hospital

'In view of the radical nature of your surgery, I've asked our Doctor Hoffldatt here to assist.'

'Hasn't anyone ever been cured of natural causes?'

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

'I know just how you feel.'

'You need to get very drunk before tomorrow's surgery. I know that I will.'

Kid to armed forces man: Will your tonsils be removed by the Surgeon General?

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

Mrs. Kimball, it's difficult to discuss your restless leg syndrome when you keep wandering off.

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

Cures for Ye Plague

You have a condition called 'extreme gullibility.' Whatever you say, Doc.

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

'Yes we can cure you - but the bigger problem now is: can you afford it?'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

Tommy John Surgery.