Mechanical Maintenance Buff T-Shirts

"Soak your nuts in acetone every day for a week, and it should clear up as good as new."

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

The Tiger Tank that came to Safari Tea.

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"I told him he should have trained more."

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Military style hedgehog

Filling the Missile Gap

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

"Especially modified you say..."

"Sure, it's a break you can live with... but screw one more socket and you're toast!"

“Oi! This is a no fly zone!”

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

Old veteran walking in sun casting a giant shadow as a young soldier

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'Chili again?'

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"FORE!"

Met Office: Wet today and dry tomorrow.

US fears missile competition.

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'Day two at the...brain transplant institute.'

US aid to Ukraine

Marine-LAPD Ridealongs

Sub Editor

A plumber preparing to go under a house's dark crawl space sees many eyes looking back from the darkness.

Birds on the wing

'Not bad kid, but you'd be vulnerable to attacks here and here.'

"Sir, our hood ornament is slowing us down."