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Burger Bistro: Ethics of Eating Meat

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'Steak Ted?'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

Important Food Groups

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

Cow of BEEF

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

Platter confusion.

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

*=Hotdog

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."