Maturity Transition T-Shirts

'I must be getting older. I tried to make an adorable remark to mom yesterday, and it came out all smart-alecky.'

The fate of the emigrant

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"So, what do you do for play?"

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"I'm here for the hair."

"Good news, honey - seventy is the new fifty."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

Doubt or Certainy

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

Pubertry

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

'So push has come to shove...'

"Junior's moved back home! It took him less than a week to work out that the grass is not always greener on the other side..."

Women

PastFuture.

Middle age anxiety about leaving the house.

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

"I didn't start seriously accessorizing until my mid-thirties."

"Yesterday we're caterpillars, today this. Can't wait to see what's next."

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

"Hello, I'm the bluebird of quiet resignation."

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."