Mattress Money Manager T-Shirts

The Mattress Savings Bank

"I'm a conservative investor. When the piggy bank gets full, the money goes right into my mattress!"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"We balanced our budget this month!"

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Money exchange

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."