Maternal Paradox Ponderer T-Shirts

'Yes, Mom...I have a clean hanky and I'm wearing clean underwear.'

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

The Artist

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Inventing Time Travel

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

"I'm a huge fan of your work."

"If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid."

Shrodinger's cat: I may or many not be missing.

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"

Schrodinger's kittens

A psychic mows the lawn.