Marketing Punsters T-Shirts

Cows buying from 'Pants R us'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'Jurassic Pork.'

Tequila Mockingbird

"Ugh! They always spell my name wrong?"

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"After searching for the sun all night, it finally dawned on me..."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'The days here are six months long... you'll love the daytrading.'

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

"It's one of the positive side effects of the new weight-loss drugs."

"My company's board members all told me the vision statement I wrote is really blurry."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

Cover story: Oil Workers Monthly.

"I'm not that kind of pro-Bono lawyer."

Hamlet.

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

'Yes, that will work as an elevator pitch...if your potential client works in a skyscraper...'

'I'm trying to get a Handel on classical music, but I'm finding that it's one step forward and two steps Bach.'

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

"I wish she's take us. She shops at the 99 scent store!"

-I once dreamed about carrots and peas,and then bet on two horses the next day called carrots and peas. Guess who won? -Who? -An outsider called mixed vegetables.

Fart. Le Poot.

"We'll pay for your move, we'll give you a bonus...in short, we'll do anything for a buck."

"As you can clearly see.. I have no idea how to use PowerPoint."

"What's a cow doing in my classroom?"

"I thought Marley said I'd be visited by three ghosts."