Manager Trainee T-Shirts

'After lunch is, 'The Art of Looking Busy'.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Oh don't mind him - he's just a great big teddy bear.'

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

Great coaching is about being specific with feedback.

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

Orthopedics. Pediatrics. Stuff they never taught your in nursing school.

'If you can control your emotions I will make you a branch manager. Yippee.'

"While your lesson plans were perfect, and your bulletin boards were terrific...your classroom management skills need work!"

Manager reading The Little Trainee That Could: 'I think I can, I think I can...'

"Don't get your hopes up, Filby."

'No, Johnny - first you punch the airholes, and then you put in the hamster!'

'Having done the mentoring skills questionnaire I think I need a mentor to mentor me in improving my mentoring.'

"When the report said that coaches should have some psychological training I think they meant more than having watched all 11 series of Frasier."

Dynamic Decision Makers: Will Probably Be back in an Hour or so

'Virtual patient.'

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

'He still hasn't got the hang of it.'

"Oh, don't worry. Typical beginner's mistake."

"I know you're new to the job, Ms. Jones, but the correct term is 'stat'... not 'move your ass'!"

'Yeah, I've got the new guy working on table wines. He seems to be getting the hang of it.'

"Nothing beats the thrill of operating beyond one's competence."

Survey says there are still a quarter of trainee GPs to stay in full-time clinical work

"I'v never actually stormed a castle, but I've taken a bunch of siege-management courses."

"Says. . . some signals are monitored by my supervisor for training and quality purposes. . .??"

He's working his way up to lions!

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'