Management T-Shirts

"It's always 'Sit,' 'Stay,' 'Heel'—never 'Think,' 'Innovate,' 'Be yourself.' "

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'Who vetted that leader?'

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

'I don't get it...after all the budget cuts to streamline the work force, why aren't we moving faster.'

"Any questions?"

"The resolution has been made and seconded that we stick our heads in the sand."

'How may I help you?'

"Obviously, wishful thinking alone won't turn things around. It's going to take wishful thinking combined with some powerful new jargon!"

"Oh, I know He works in mysterious ways, but if I worked that mysteriously I'd get fired."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"Basically, we have two options: #1: Do what I suggest because I'm the boss and I say so. Or, #2: I launch into an excruciatingly dull, long and detailed presentation explaining my position. You decide."

"He's a very controlling person."

"As C.E.O., I try to look at the big picture, while J.G., as president, sees to the day-to-day operations."

"We've been accused of being a group of 'Yes' men!"

"You're fired, Withron. I got a terrific deal on a handful of ballpoints."

We find this model works better for us!

'This really is an innovative approach, but I'm afraid we can't consider it. It's never been done before.'

Change Management: Here There,,,'We thought we'd put in the detail later,'

'Implementing these changes won't be easy. We're pretty set in doing things the wrong way.'

The Department of Lessons Learned...

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

Giving feedback is a complex process.

"What can we do about this leadership course,,," "I don't know,what do you think" "Isn't there anyone we could ask"

'Apparently many companies experience problems including: a lack of direction, poor accountability, lack of respect among members, pushing personal agendas, poor communication ...'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team,,,'

'My job is to make decisions. Your job is to make them good decisions.'

Desk plaque: 'The buck pauses, but does not actually stop here.'

'So what you're saying is that we've been defunct and out of business for over two years and you've just been waiting for the right time to tell me?'

"Sometimes I think the collaborative process would work better without you."

'Mind you, I'm not responsible for the entire pipeline ?' just the section that flows through my office.'

"When I said to convince him of the need for change I was hoping you'd use the seductive power of reason and logic."

'Let's begin our meeting. . . everybody talk, nobody listen.'

"There, that's better" - customer focus.

BMA told to radically overhaul communications.