Management Theories Debater Prints

"Henderson, you're fast becoming irreplaceable around here. You're fired!"

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

I can outsource your job to someone who'll work longer hours for less money. Less money I can understand...but how do they make the hours longer than 60 minutes?

'You present a very convincing argument.'

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

"What can we do about this leadership course,,," "I don't know,what do you think" "Isn't there anyone we could ask"

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

"I absolutely refuse to be surrounded by yes men, do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

"I have a list of downsides I'd like you to develop into a list of upsides."

"Our constantant surveillance indicates workers are becoming more paranoid."

"Nothing personal, I just wanted to see if I still had it."

'When I talked about, 'fundamental changes to chore practices to align ourselves with a changing business environment', I was referring to more than you moving your desk closer to the window.'

I have the feeling we are being micromanaged...

'Not a problem. Our industry is self-regulated. In fact, I'm scheduled to jump off the roof right after this meeting.'

'It's is the feeling of this board that you are overdoing the 'lead by example' thing.'

Seriously Flawed Office.

"As you said, you're irreplaceable. That's why I've decided to give Jackson the promotion."

'Great idea Sir!'

'We had to let go of some people.'

"It's unfortunate that we have to cut back on frontline workers, but what else can we do?"

Professor Malinowski Failed to Impress His Audience with his Small Bang Theory.

'Remember...if at first you don't succeed, hire a scapegoat and move on.'

"Sometimes I think I'm a victim of the 'Peter principle', I reached my real competence level some time ago..."

"Jenkins, I've turned your job into customer self service."

"Here are the details for that project I wanted urgently which you have been chasing me for for months. It is in pencil as I am likely to change my mind again..."

"We need to reduce our staff without upsetting office morale. Hire some people to study the problem."

"It's all business-to-business. We need some retail outlets."

"To me, baseball is a metaphor for football."

"We're 'skilled labor'. That's more than what we can say about management."

Life on earth was simple and stupid until suddenly complex life exploded all over the planet during the Cambrian period. At about the same time, Venus was probably habitable. One theory is a huge asteroid smacked into Venus, blasting life out into space. Months later, that life fell down to earth and ipso facto that's why you and I are here. The "big smack" theory is gaining widespread acceptance. Really? As in peer-reviewed studies? No, as in "likes" on the "big smack" video I posted on Youtub

"Bankers have had a bad press..."