Mailing List Master Prints

'Ok, the mailing list didn't work well, but do we have to burn it?'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

"Gracie, I'm so proud that you made the academic decathlon team! Here...have some of my special green tea! Ithelps you concentrate and improves your memory!"

"There's a wonderful book on memory tricks here, but I can't remember what I did with it!"

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'Don't worry about this meeting. I got everything we need right up here.'

Animal and Human Memory

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

Felix suddenly remembers what the string on his finger is a reminder of.

"I'm sure you do spend all your time here at the office, but could you please stop having your mail delivered here?"

"I know - it takes skill to sneak a peek at their tiny tags when you can't remember their names."

'I don't remember ever having a good memory.'

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

"… and a big shout-out to my hippocampus, without which I wouldn’t be standing here saying words."

"Oh dear, how embarrassing!"

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

How to Improve Your Memory Seminar.

'And tomorrow we will be having a surprise test.'

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

How can you have 800 megabytes of memory and not remember to put the seat down?