Mail Delivery Enthusiast Pillows

"Bad news. The mailman is going to attend the parole-board hearing."

Postal Worker Satisfaction

"My email is down... talk to me."

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

The Official Covid-19 Diet

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

Spam in Hell.

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

"Mail's here."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

Santa called but you were out!

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

'Grrrr....'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'