Machine Learning Enthusiast Pillows

"I won't date another AI engineer unless he can pass the Turing test."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

How we imagined A.I. in 1977. . . How it's looking today. . .

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"I fear one day our jobs will be taken over by technology."

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"What did you download at school today?"

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

"I'm looking for something really dull and repetitive."

"I love your optimism."

'From an aesthetic perspective, it has heart, beauty and intrigue, but is it a viable process design?'

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

"You'll do everything...accounting, marketing, manufacturing...with no pay or benefits...and three years from now we'll trade you in for a newer, sexier model."

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?