Lunar Calendar Follower Pillows

"Hey Siri, when's the next full moon?"

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"Greetings, Earthling - Are you a worker or a drone?"

US fears missile competition.

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

Our busy Sundays are Christmas, Easter and hurricane season.

"What starts with a full moon, ends with a full moon.

Daisy Jazz Isobel Ridley

'Dr. Hall's horoscope says not to tamper with another person's heart, so he's postponing your bypass surgery until next week.'

"Yes, sir. Your beer is cloudy. But, there's a good chance it'll become clear later."

'I'm a Pisces.'

Chances of the weather.

'If it gets out that we missed Mars by 150 million miles, we're in deep doo-doo! Would you mind wearing these costumes for a brief video?'

Monster Tax Service. Tax season is in full swing now. It looks like the zombies had the same income as prior years but King Kong had a big increase. Kong is climbing the corporate ladder while the zombies are stuck in dead-end jobs. The werewolf had some extra income -- must have been moonlighting. The Hulk is taking some credits for going green, and Frankenstein's monster has a big medical expense deduction because of all his surgery. As usual, the Invisible Man has the cleanest return.

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

"This party sucks! I thought there were going to be swimmers!"

'An expert is one who knows tomorrow why the things he said yesterday didn't happen today.'

'I don't deny that my client murdered a man, but his moon was in Taurus, folks, His moooooon was in Taurus!'

'I think the new convertible is because they're going through a mid-life Pisces.'

'I hate half moon.'

"They were right about it being a full moon tonight."

'He knows if you've been good or bad - based on how many friends and followers you have.'

"I'd like to speak with the weatherman who predicted sunny skies for today!"

Gardening By The Moon

'From Earth? -- You're not that Geraldo guy, are you?'

Planting by the moon.

Cold Weather: 'So nothing new?'

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"

Three 'wise' men.

'Sorry, pal, but the last guy who rubbed my lamp took everything!'

2020 Year of the Rat

'Just a second. I've got a call on telepathic waiting.'

"Just for the fun of it, let's add some goat turds to this batch of hand sanitizer."