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'I know it's an early kick off but this is ridiculous!'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Monk Prompt

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

Personal Assistants.

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

I am your BIGGEST fan!

Best friends without borders.

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"For goodness sake, stop this daily whining! She's just gone to work, she'll be back tonight! Get a grip!"

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

Tea Party and the US economy

"The buck really stops with him."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."