Loves Unique Humor Prints

"This is the Halal dog food. The Kosher dog food is in the next aisle."

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

"He, Igor? Who are we to play God with its gender pronouns?"

This is awkward, but I need to ask if you'd like to donate your body to science.

Scientist discover a new superbug

"The Loyalty Card program has changed. Management now requires you to get a Loyalty Forehead Tattoo of the bar's logo."

'You've definitely mastered it, Richard, but not every song is appropriate for the chicken dance.'

Although a rare sight in the old west, the secluded ice rinks brought out a side of the lone passing-by cowboy, that even they themselves barely knew existed.

Acupuncture.

"Hey, David...what's a five letter noun for someone I couldn't live without...oh yeah, kitty!"

Ice fisherman using plunger to catch fish

"I came here because my photography work is suffering - everybody on social media says they love my abstract pictures. The problem is, I do landscape pictures."

We never talk anymore, Lars. That's because it always ends the same way. You say, "Polly want a cracker." I give you a cracker. I try to shift the conversation to other topics, but you ask for another cracker again and again. 30 or 40 crackers later, you vomit and go to bed.

"A funny thing happened on my way over here..."

'You look lovely today.'

"It's nice, but I fell in love with a caterpillar."

Cloning departments

The Grim Raker

'Fancy a banana split?'

I started writing crossword puzzles when I realized it was the only chance I'd ever have of finishing one.

Piñata Blackjack

Society for Asking Stupid Questions

"Phil!"

'Of course he's not all there.'

'The hamster ball is simple, effective and very economic.'

'Do the patches help?'

'It's quite nice once your out.'

'Thanks but we really can't accept...'

'What's on the evening menu that's good?'

'First bear in space and still no respect.'

Sheep Pranks.

'The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit...Amen.'

'May I see some photo ID?'

No caption (a mime holds onto an invisible leash as his dog barks at a squirrel on a tree).

"No, John. You know I'll only end up hurting you."