Loud Laugher At Jokes Prints

Clancy: Forthright Opinions

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"It's funny 'cos it's true!"

Pie chart of pub conversations

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'That was so funny. I haven't booed that loudly in years.'

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

"Welcome back, Mr. Bigley. Some messages came in for you while you were dead."

"I'm old enough to remember when people thought retirement had something to do with not having a job. Don't laugh! We used to believe all sorts of ridiculous stuff!"

"Open mike night"

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

Old Mother Hubbard, Went to the Cupboard...'Now what did I come here for?'

Extended Stay.

"We can't afford to be late. If you can't find your cuff links, use the nipple clamps mother gave you for xmas."

Canned Laughter

Over six thousand spectators attended the final.

'Who's there?'

'He'll not be writing any more quick-fire gags now he's crawling along at that speed, eh, Ern?'

401 Error

'How did Mary-Lou like her first motorcycle ride?'

"Fred's conversational level speaks volumes. When he's losing an argument, he raises the volume."

'I asked for alphabet soup.' 'This is morse code soup.'

"I love Fallon, but what's this 'late-night television' thing?"

Diarrhoea Discussion Class: Runs Until Friday

"I don't want you to eat my homework. I want you to DO my homework."

'Pint of 'Binge' please Guv'nor.'

'That's strange - he doesn't usually take any notice of the television.'