Lonely Mall Wanderer Mugs

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I shop, therefore I am."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

Island of Lost Guys.

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"This planet doesn't stand a chance."

Customer Convention

Mall Directory: You are here, but your mind is somewhere else.

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Well, he loves people, the birds that fly, the fish that swim, and all the creatures of the forest."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

Brick and Mortar

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'Dealing with Stress, Cooking for Forty and Nightmare Families. Christmas reading?'

Man sees where he's at and he's 'Where It's Not At'

"They came up with a new class of anti-depressants that will inhibit compulsive shopping."

"I'm looking for a book on how to raise kids easily, but I can't seem to find it anywhere..."

"Avez-vous Cocoa Puffs?"

'No, officer, I'm not a homeless beggar. I'm just waiting on my wife while she's shopping.'

'Iambic tetrameter? Isn't that one of those conditions that's now an official disease?'

Your own tedious thoughts next 200 miles

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

'Self-help books for cynics'

"'50 Shades of Grey?' - Oh you mean the 'Guide to Modern Music...'"

'No, I'm NOT break dancing.'

Spirituality.

Hunter-Gatherers, North America, Late 20th Century

'Got anything on happy marriages?'

Mega Corp. Last Rest Stop for 37 Doors.