Local Government Pillows

Department of Town Planning.

Man at council planning offices can't get through door due to position of steps.

Planning Department.

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

Self Serve Road Repair.

Inside County Hall: Lift Max Capacity, 4 persons.

We're from the City Zoning Commission, sir -- we've decided to tear down your house and put up a slum.

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

District Budget Meeting: Asprin

Five ways for cities-towns to raise money...

"The city is going ahead with that big project. They say it's gonna take 2,000 man-hours."

"The new city manager wants to be 'hands on,' meet people and revitalize downtown."

A mayor in full regalia atop a step ladder.

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

City Council: 'It's a sweet deal- we permit their mall, and they build our new high school within!'

Welfare Department:'We don't have a 'fast track'!'

'Who says you can't fight City Hall?'

"I dreamed that I was mayor of a large American city."

"Who's got the hammer?"

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'Every year local authorities whinge on about needing more money to maintain services.'

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

'He's put in a tender to run down public services.'

"They're spelt differently!"

Budget cuts were beginning to bite at the local council

"No, this is the department for obfuscation, hindrance, confusion and prevarication...you want the department for sophistry, incomprehension, fudging and evasiveness!!"

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"I think this new financial controller is going to be trouble..."

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

'Someone's got to do something about these pot holes!'

'That's the Director of Housing. She isn't taking the news of the rates freeze too well...'

"We find that we have to put this on all public consultation websites ..."